Emotional abuse at work: 8 warning signs that there’s a problem
/
“The accelerated pace of change in today’s workplace and in our overall society is one more factor impacting workplace mental health.” [Source: SHRM]
It’s no surprise that the most common workplace issues on almost every survey list are not about pay, promotion, or benefits. We see that interpersonal conflict, bullying and harassment, communication and relationship problems consistently top these lists.
Recent statistics show that [Source: 2021 WBI U.S. Workplace Bullying Survey]:
30% of adults are bullied at work (compared to 19% in 2017)
43.2% of remote workers are bullied
65% of bullies are bosses; 4% have admitted their bullying which represents 6.6 million individuals
What behavior causes emotional abuse for workers?
When does a personality clash within a team or a sudden stress-driven lapse into angry shouting in a meeting cross the line into a situation that needs intervention by the HR or management professional?
In our work with workplace issues around harmful behaviors in the workplace, we’ve designed the Abrasive Leader Diagnostic™ to determine whether the individual under consideration has an abrasive leadership style. Our research defines problematic behavior as:
Interpersonal behavior that causes emotional distress in coworkers that is sufficient to disrupt organizational functioning
Behavior characterized by interpersonal interactions that are perceived to be disrespectful
Any pattern of behavior that compromises the physical and psychological safety of the workforce
Although those one-time instances or lapses shouldn’t be ignored, a repeated pattern of abrasive behavior (otherwise known as unacceptable conduct or bullying) needs immediate attention.
Watch for these warning signs:
Complaints regarding the individuals’ interactions with coworkers, customers, contractors, patients, interns, students, etc.
Attempts by employees to transfer out of the leader’s area or avoid being transferred in
Covert cautions among coworkers such as “Watch out for him – don’t get in his way” or “Don’t get on her bad side – you’ll pay if you do”
Attrition of valued employees from the leader’s area
Decreased morale and motivation in the leader’s area
Potential or actual harassment/hostile environment litigation
Excessive managerial time devoted to addressing employee distress
Loss of leadership credibility: failure to intervene is interpreted by employees as weakness, or worse, tacitly condoning the behavior(s)
Research shows that at one time or another, most of us will work with an abrasive leader who is blind to the harm caused by their overly-aggressive style.
Are you having this experience right now in your workplace? Then it’s crucial to know three things:
Left unaddressed, these behaviors will disrupt the organization in measurably costly ways
You need to intervene; you have a responsibility to assure the physical and psychological safety of your workforce
(good news!) These behaviors are learned and can be UNlearned in most cases.
If you believe there is someone in your organization with an abrasive leadership style (or if you think YOU might be exhibiting unacceptable conduct), I invite you to take our free Abrasive Leader Diagnostic™ to determine if it’s a situation that needs your attention. It could shift the entire organizational culture – and personal lives – for the better.
When we join a company, partnership or team, our expectation is that everyone involved will exhibit professional behavior toward us and each other. Instead, it’s highly possible that we may become one of the more than 60 million adults in the United States who are affected in some way by bullying behavior at work.
What kind of behaviors are we talking about? Our definition is any interpersonal behavior that causes emotional distress in others sufficient enough to impede their productivity or disrupt organizational functioning. It isn’t just a personality conflict — it’s a chronic pattern of disrespectful behavior.